Gun for Hire BOGOF

Campervan for hire. It’s a bit like gun for hire but totally different. You don’t see gun for hire signs in Tesco these days. Not that I’ve noticed anyway. Imagine it. “Gun for hire BOGOF”.

This isn’t the wild west you know? They’d have given anything for a VW camper van in those days. No idea where they would have got the petrol from mind you. Unleaded. Wasn’t invented in 1862, or whenever it was.

Would have been a lot easier for the pioneers in their wagon trains if they had had a campervan. Pull up every evening in a circle and sit around the campfire talking pioneer stuff. Best ways to sharpen an axe. Axle mending for beginners. How to skin a bear once you’ve killed it with your bare hands. That kind of thing.

Whilst this is going on the food is cooking on the two ring gas stove. Two rings would have been plenty. One would probably have done. A hearty stew. Same as yesterday in fact but you have to give some concessions to life on the trail. A few grits (whatever they are) and a hunk of bread to chew on.

Instead of the banjo someone would have switched on the radio and shoved in their fave CD. There were no radio stations in those days. I suppose they could have used Spotify in offline mode. The fridge also came in handy. When you’ve spent the day on the hot and dusty trail there’s nothing quite like a cold beer from the fridge. Or a glass of squash with ice for the kids.

Then when it’s time to bunker down you pull the curtains shut the van door and fall into your rock and roll bed, dead to the world. Tomorrow is another day.

Gnight John boy.